Introduction to Personal Struggle
Since my early years, as I began to comprehend the world around me, I became aware that something within me was not quite right. I experienced a sense of emptiness and disorder within myself, like a shapeless existence. I struggled to find a sense of identity and who I am. Chaos and Void are intertwined, as seen since the beginning of time. It was only after the radiant light of the wonderful gospel of Jesus Christ had entered my heart and I grew spiritually that I recognized the diabolical forces within me that sought to destroy my life.
Theological Foundations
An evil domain within us! That is what the Adamic transgression has brought us. Even though we have turned to Christ, we will still have to deal with two conflicting natures and authorities within ourselves until the day the Lord changes our sinful body. According to the apostle Paul, “evil is present with us”, that is in our flesh – Acts 7:14-21; Galatians 5:17.
The book of James discusses the contrast between two different types of wisdom that every believer must navigate – James 3. One realm follows the “law of sin and death” while the other follows “the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus”– Romans 6:22/7:5/8:2,13. However, for the unregenerate, sin reigns supreme.
Our struggle against sin starts the day we come into Christ’s life. Only believers, as opposed to the wicked, face an opponent. Given that sin is his master, why would a sinner engage in combat? However, once he or she is set free from the power of sin, a born-again believer faces opposition. The kingdom of the dark world desires to reclaim its captives, and it will pursue them until the body of sin is put off. Sanctification is therefore essential to living a successful life –1 Thessalonians 4:3/5:21-23.
We must always put on the Lord Jesus Christ (that is, to put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness), making no provision for the body to fulfil its lusts – Romans 13:14; Ephesians 4:24; Colossians 3:10; abstaining from fleshly lusts that war against the soul – 1 Peter 2:11; and thus, giving no place to the devil – Ephesians 4:27. The process of sanctification is just the replacement of the old corrupt nature with the divine nature and holiness – Hebrews 12:10; 2 Peter 1:4.
If you see previous inclinations coming back, don’t be surprised; they may even seem to be present. Though it could give the impression that it is still alive, it has ended and is lifeless. It may fool us into thinking it’s still powerful, but that’s not the case.
Through Christ’s crucifixion, our old selves were crucified as well. The Bible confirms that we have been made alive with Christ, sharing in his death and resurrection, which is symbolically represented in the act of baptism. Ephesians 2:1,5,6; Colossians 2:12,13; and Romans 6:3,4 all convey the message that God has brought us back to life with Christ, enabling us to participate in his death and resurrection, a significance that is deeply ingrained in the ritual of water baptism.
We are instructed to discard the corrupt old nature, as there is no reason to carry something dead. It is akin to shedding old skin. The old sinful nature, which was crucified with Christ, must be removed to avoid becoming unpleasant.
The book of Genesis reflects the condition of the human heart. Just as a baby’s soul is surrounded by the womb’s water, so is the soul of man. When God says, “Let there be light,” the soul breaks forth from the dark watery realm into the world’s light. Jesus Christ is the light that shines in darkness; the true Light, which lights every man that cometh into the world – John 1:5,9. God must speak for something to come forth into being—for He upholds all things by the word of his power (before and after) – John 6:44; Hebrews 1:3.
The Human Condition and God’s Sustenance
If God doesn’t uphold all things, nothing can remain intact. Even the very breath that sustains all living creatures comes from God. The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life – Job 33:4. God Yahweh, created the heavens and stretched them out, who spread out the earth and that which comes out of it, who gives breath to its people and spirit to those who walk in it – Isaiah 42:5. David, the Psalmist, and the prophets all grasped this concept, as David expressed it when he said, “the earth is abundant with the goodness of the Lord” – Psalms 33:4,5.
Raising the earth from the watery depths can be compared to the emergence of a soul. The soul originates from its maker – Job 12:10; Ecclesiastes 12:7. While the body is earthly, it is also formed and supported by the divine creator – Psalms 139. Despite man’s innate nature to hate the Creator – Romans 5:10; Colossians 1:21; God loves the human beings He has created, as they are His children – Acts 17:26-29. No wonder the Lord God causes the sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the just and on the unjust – Matthew 5:45. The Lord God does not delight in the death of the wicked; rather, He desires that the wicked renounce their ways and live – Ezekiel 33:11. For the Lord is righteous in all his ways, and holy in all his works – Psalm 145:17.
The Lord executes judgment for the oppressed: which gives food to the hungry. The Lord frees the prisoners. The Lord opens the eyes of the blind: the Lord raises them that are bowed down. For He loves righteousness. He preserves the strangers; he relieves the fatherless and widow: but the way of the wicked he turns upside down – Psalm 146:7-9.
It’s still unclear how a soul is generated, and man simply wishes to deny the existence of a creator God. Tell me where the soul goes after death, you who consider yourself intelligent. Since you are unable to respond to that question, and since the Bible is the only source of doctrine that is acknowledged as inspired by God, I will quote from it instead. It states that no one has the authority to control the spirit or to hold onto it after death since the spirit will ultimately return to the Almighty – Ecclesiastes 8:8/12:7.
All that man designs, and uses is the product of human creativity, but he is unaware that in making things, he is embodying the quality of his heavenly father. Man cannot attest that it is God that gives to all life, and breath, and all things; And hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the earth, and hath determined the times before appointed, and the bounds of their habitation; That they should seek the Lord if haply they might feel after him, and find him, though He is not far from every one of us: For in him we live, and move, and have our being; as certain also of your poets have said, For we are also his offspring – Acts 17:25-28.
But sin, which paved the way for ignorance to set in, blinded him and led him to believe that the Godhead is like gold, silver, or stone, graven by art and man’s device – Acts 17:29,30, which God has come to remove through Christ. Through the destruction of sin in his flesh – Romans 6:14/8:3; Colossians 1:22, Christ made it possible for anyone who believes in him to have that life and walk in it. There is no need for a pilgrimage or sacrifices to receive this spiritual emancipation; because anyone calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved, that is the offer – Romans 10:13. And as many as received him, to them, He gave power (freedom, authority, strength) to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name – John 1:12. For those He picked, He took away the scales from their eyes, enabling them to see and be amazed at God. The eyes of their understanding were enlightened, and they could see not only the reality of God but their nakedness as well – Ephesians 1:18.
The Struggle with Sin and Identity
The soul then must break forth out of the watery grave, which represents the sinful realm. Didn’t the Psalmist recite, Behold, I was shaped in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me? Psalm 51:5 That’s what the watery grave represents. Every child born into the world, because of the Adamic sin, must come through the realm of sin. No other way can you come. Even Jesus the Messiah had to take that route. This is going to shock many who claim that the body that Jesus Christ possessed was unlike ours. Wouldn’t that imply that the body of Mary too would thus be realized? It was from this that the immaculate conception doctrine originated. And if that be true, wouldn’t that make all her lineage sinless? But the truth is far from it.
Tell me, did Mary not come from the Adamic line and was she not born in sin, as mentioned in Psalm 51:5? If we look at the lineage of Jesus according to the flesh, it is the worst lineage that he came from. It ranges from murderers, adulterers, wicked kings, prostitutes etc.
What is man, that he should be clean? and he which is born of a woman, that he should be righteous? Job 15:14 Jesus too was made of a woman, made under the law – Galatians 4:4. Forasmuch then as the children are partakers of flesh and blood, he also himself likewise took part of the same – Hebrews 2:14/4:15. His body was taken from man, which man, you might ask? King David to be precise. Was he not dead and buried ages back? But is there anything too hard for the Lord? People are willing to believe the declarations of scientists, who are only mortals, but they are reluctant to believe what God says. Whose report would you believe? If we receive the witness of men, the witness of God is greater; for this is God’s testimony which he has testified concerning his Son – 1 John 5:9.
The Sacrificial Role of Christ
I believe in the word of God. For it says, Jesus Christ was born of the seed of David according to the flesh – Romans 1:3; David being a prophet and knowing that God had sworn with an oath to him, that of the fruit of his loins, according to the flesh, he would raise Christ to sit on his throne – Acts 2:30; Remember that Jesus Christ of the seed of David – 2 Timothy 2:8. Here we see the Holy Ghost speaks through three holy men about its validity. Isn’t that enough to convey that the body that Jesus Christ took upon was vulnerable to all sinfulness and weakness as we also are? Yes, the Bible confirms it – Hebrews 2:10,14,18/ 4:15/ 5:8,9; Romans 8:3.
Death would not have affected his body if Jesus did not partake of the same, which would jeopardize God’s purpose; not to mention, that he would be unable to prove that he is a high priest capable of understanding us – Hebrews 2:14,18/4:15. Death is the result of sin. The last Adam also took upon him the sin of the world. The Messianic Psalms tell us the cry of the Messiah pleading for forgiveness of his sins. Isaiah 53 says, thou hast in love to my soul delivered it from the pit of corruption: for thou hast cast all my sins behind thy back – Isaiah 38:17; Job 33:24. He became the scapegoat and absorbed all the wrath of God, which was due toward us. He thus condemned sin in the flesh – Romans 8:3. The recorded declaration that he condemned sin in the flesh would therefore be unacceptable if he had chosen a different body. So how are you going to accept it?
Christ's Example and Our Spiritual Journey
How did he survive the pull and tug of the body of sin? His total reliance upon the Father helped him succeed, leaving us an example, that we should follow his step – John 5:19,30. Through the eternal Spirit, he offered himself without blemish to God – Hebrews 9:14.
And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him and given him a name which is above every name – Philippians 2:8,9. Just like any of us, Jesus too had to grow in spirit – Luke 2:40, to realise his identity and his purpose. Jesus knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he was come from God, and went to God – John 13:3 – KJV.
The Divine Intervention in Creation
The soul comes out breaking the sin barrier with the help of the unseen hand of the Spirit of God, which moves upon the face of the deep or darkness. Psalm 139 clearly states the work of God in the birth of every child. To Jeremiah God says, before I formed thee in the belly, I knew thee; and before thou came forth out of the womb I sanctified thee – Jeremiah 1:5. Come forth is the same word that is used throughout the Bible when God commanded something that was held back to come forth, to issue, causatively, to bring out, to draw out.
The phrase “to come forth” means to appear or make an appearance, often in response to a call or invitation. “To issue” refers to the act of making something public or available, such as a statement or order. “Causatively” is an adverb that means in a way that produces a cause or effect. “To bring out meaning” means to reveal or make clear the significance of something.
Psalm 139:13-16 says it is God who creates our inmost being; He knit us together in our mother’s womb; my frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Why would he say, “when I was woven together in the depths of the earth“? Isn’t he relating or drawing a parallel between the birth of humans and the verses in Genesis 1?
Isaiah 44:24 says, “Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer, who formed you from the womb: ‘I am the Lord, who has made all things, who alone stretched out the heavens, who spread out the earth by myself.'”
The Breath of Life and the Light of Christ
The phrase “God breathed life into man” refers to the biblical creation story found in the Book of Genesis, specifically in Genesis 2:7. In this verse, it is written: “Then the Lord God formed man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.” The phrase “breathed life” is often interpreted symbolically, representing the idea that God gave Adam a soul or spirit, making him a living and conscious being. In the context of the Hebrew language, the word “breath” is “neshamah,” which carries a deeper meaning beyond mere physical respiration. It refers to the vital force or spirit that animates a person, often translated as “soul” or “spirit of life.”
Christ: The Life and Light of Men
I am going to shock you with this. Do you know what was that breath? It was the life of man, which was Christ. Hard to digest? In him (the Word) was life, and the life was the light of men – John 1:4. Of course you knew it. But wait, there’s more. He is the true Light, which lights every man that cometh into the world – John 1:9. He lights up every man that comes into the world! Recall the verse in Genesis when God commanded the light to shine out of darkness in verse 3 before creating man! It doesn’t exactly say in Genesis that God commanded the light to shine out of the darkness but when the mystery was revealed in the New Testament, apostle Paul understood it and he said, For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ – 2 Corinthians 4:6.
The Pre-Creation Light
Do you see the parallel? The cosmic light that we see created on the fourth day is not the same as this light, that was brought forth before God began creation itself. It not only came forth but also God divided the light from darkness in verses 4 and 5. Unlike the cosmic lights He created on the fourth day; this one is unique.
Jesus Christ: The Breath of Our Nostrils
Who is the breath of our nostrils? The breath of our nostrils, the anointed of the Lord (mashiyach) – Lamentations 4:20; who is the Mashiyach or Messiah? Jesus Christ is the Christos – John 6:69/20:31. And he is before all things, and by him, all things consist – Colossians 1:17. This light, which lights up every man, came first, then the creation. He is the first and the last, the beginning and the end – Revelation 1:11,17/ 22:13. He is the firstborn of every creature – Colossians 1:15. Keep in mind that unlike us, the Word of God is not a created being but came forth from God Himself. Now you know why man is nothing without Jesus Christ. God brought forth the Word of God first and through and by and for Him created everything. All things were made by him, and without him was not anything made that was made – John 1:3. And man was created after His image and likeness. He is the exact representation of the invisible God. For, he who hath seen Him hath seen God – John 1:18/14:9; 1 Timothy 6:14-16.
This is the life that Adam was cut off from. His name is called the Word of God – Revelation 19:13; and it isn’t just in him that the life is, but He is the very life of man – John 1:4; 1 John 5:11,12. He upholds all things by the word of His power – Hebrews 1:3.
The Dual Nature of Man
So, darkness was upon the face of the deep, which means, not only was I shaped in iniquity but in sin did my mother conceive me – Psalm 51:5. And because God divided the light from darkness, man is now endowed with two spiritual realms. One is his spirit, and the other is his carnality. The spirit realm can be seen as the tree of life and the fleshly realm as the tree of good and evil. Since the fall, the tree of life has been withheld from man as sin became the dominant force. Until the Son of God comes and destroys sin, he won’t have access to the Tree of Life.
The Tree of Life and the Overcomer
I want you to carefully glean the revelation that God has given me through the scripture verse I am giving you. If you can see it, it will blow your world and will transform your life.
The Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcomes will I give to eat of the tree of life, which is in the midst of the paradise of God – Revelation 2:7. We have learned that this overcoming and everything else and because the book of Revelation is attached to the end of the Bible, we deem it not only as an eschatological order of life but written for people of that times. On the contrary, it is written about us. I will show you.
The Scripture tells us in the book of Proverbs 3:18, that the Wisdom is a tree of life; The fruit of the righteous too is a tree of life – Proverbs 11:30; and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations – Revelation 22:2; Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates (pulon) into the city – Revelation 22:14.
“Pulon” is the doorway of a building or city. Who is the door, a portal or entrance? Jesus said I am the door: by me, if any man enters in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out (of the heavenly city) – John 10:9. Have we not come in yet? Indeed, we have come unto Mount Zion, and unto the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem – Hebrews 12:22. Overcomes is “Nikao”. The Greek word “nikaomai”, means “to be victorious” or “to win”. This word is derived from the Greek root “nikē”, which means “victory”. It means “to win the game”, and the phrase “nikao ti zōi” means “to overcome life’s challenges”. Overall, while the word “nikao” itself is not a Greek word, it is likely related to the Greek word “nikaomai” and shares its meaning of “to win” or “to be victorious”. To be victorious, to conquer, to triumph.
Who is he that overcomes the world, but he that believeth that Jesus is the Son of God? 1 John 5:5. For whatsoever is born of God overcomes the world: and this is the victory that overcomes the world, even our faith – 1 John 5:4. Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them (overcome the spirit of antichrist, the world and the wicked one – the world is that great whore, the Mystery Babylon): because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world – 1 John 4:3,4 (he hath delivered us from this present evil world – Galatians 1:4); the word of God abides in you, and ye have overcome the wicked one – 1 John 2:13,14; To him that overcomes will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne – Revelation 3:21; God hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus – Ephesians 2:6. He that overcomes shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son – Revelation 21:7. Before the founding of the New Testament with His blood – Hebrews 9:15-22; Jesus said to his disciples, be of good cheer; I have overcome the world – John 16:33. But after the inception of the Spirit of God upon all flesh on the day of Pentecost, which is the promise of the Father; the Lord says, all who are born of God are overcomers like Jesus is. Because as he is, so are we in this world – 1 John 4:17.
Zion: The Ecclesia of God
For the Lord shall comfort Zion: he will comfort all her waste places, and he will make her wilderness like Eden, and her desert like the garden of the Lord; joy and gladness shall be found therein thanksgiving, and the voice of melody – Isaiah 51:3. And they shall say, This desolate land has become like the garden of Eden, and the waste and desolate and ruined cities are become fenced and are inhabited – Ezekiel 36:35. Didn’t the Lord build all the ruined places and plant that that was desolate? Indeed, he did.
Zion is where the ecclesia of God is; it is the heavenly Jerusalem, the spiritual body of Christ. God has made her like the garden of Eden and the tree of life in the midst of it, whose leaves were for the healing of the nations. Where the nations of the world were like this before the inception of the kingdom of Christ? The world has been transformed by the triune entities of God that are in the world, which are the Spirit, the Word, and the Ecclesia. In the midst of the street of it, and on either side of the river, was there the tree of life, which bare twelve manners of fruits, and yielded her fruit every month: and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations – Revelation 22:2. Are we waiting for this to transpire? Listen, people of God, we are in it. Don’t you see? The saving health (yshuw`ah = salvation) among all nations is already made known – Psalm 67:2; 1 Chronicles 16:23,24; Psalms 22:27; Jeremiah 3:17; Isaiah 35:5-8. The Gentile world or the nations of the world has come to possess the “Tabernacle of Witness” – Acts 7:44,45; Romans 9:25,26; Hosea 1:10. The “Tabernacle of Witness” also known as the “Temple” or “Home of the Lord.” The city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem – Hebrews 12:22. It is inevitable that the Church of Jesus Christ, a living entity that exists presently in a spiritual state, will descend from heaven to manifest on Earth, where she will be visible to everyone and establish her dominion as the exclusive possessor of all that God possesses – Revelation 21:2.
The New Humanity in Christ
After eating from the forbidden tree, Adam ought to have acquired two distinct fruit-bearing trees, but God barred him from accessing the tree of life. Moreover, a soul only becomes dual-identity capable when it undergoes spirit regeneration. Although that is not how God meant for man to exist, he must put up with it until the Lord grants him a new body. By embracing the domain of darkness, which is what eating from the forbidden tree represents, Adam neutralized the tree of life, so to speak. By coalescing with the dark world, Adam rescinded the godly order. He was cut off from life and his spirit, which was the tree of life had become defunct. That is what Jesus Christ came and restored. That which is born of the Spirit is spirit – John 3:6; which is the candle of the Lord – Proverbs 20:27. The light is come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon us – Isaiah 60:1; For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ – 2 Corinthians 4:6.
Unlike Adam, who was made a living soul – Genesis 2:7, the last Adam was made a quickening spirit. That was not first which is spiritual, but that which is natural; and afterwards that which is spiritual. The first man is of the earth, earthy: the second man is the Lord from heaven. As is the earthy, such are they also that are earthy: and as is the heavenly, such are they also that are heavenly – 1 Corinthians 15:45-48. God hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead – 1 Peter 1:3.
God created a superior species of humanity in Christ, one that is composed of both flesh and Spirit. Even the Old Testament believers could only look through the prophets’ eyes but couldn’t experience it. Of which salvation the prophets have enquired and searched diligently, who prophesied of the grace that should come – 1 Peter 1:10. They were shut up unto the faith which should afterwards be revealed – Galatians 3:23.
The Heart Transformed by Spirit
Now, the voidness and formless heart have become functioning—as the spirit of man is revived or quickened by the Spirit of God. Darkness, which was upon the face of the deep in Hebrew is “Choshek”, which is the antonym of “Shalom”. The word “darkness” in Hebrew is “Choshek,” and it means darkness, misery, destruction, death, sorrow, and wickedness. It can refer to physical darkness or metaphorical darkness, such as spiritual or moral confusion. In the Bible, the concept of “Choshek” is often associated with the punishment of sin and the need for repentance.
The Departure from Darkness
The darkness is past (ignorance is past – Acts 17:30), and the true light now shines – 1 John 2:8. That thou mayest say to the prisoners, go forth; to them that are in darkness, Shew yourselves (the people that walked in darkness have seen a great light – Isaiah 9:2). They shall feed in the ways, and their pastures shall be in all high places. They shall not hunger nor thirst; neither shall the heat nor sun smite them: for he that hath mercy on them shall lead them, even by the springs of water shall he guide them. And I will make all my mountains a way, and my highways shall be exalted. Behold, these shall come from far: and, lo, these from the north and the west; and these from the land of Sinim. Sing, O heavens; and be joyful O earth, and break forth into singing, O mountains: for the Lord hath comforted his people and will have mercy upon his afflicted – Isaiah 49:9-13.
The Dual Nature of Man
So now, as new creatures – 2 Corinthians 5:17; Galatians 6:15, we must contend with two opposing forces; the spirit and the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other – Galatians 5:17; Romans 8:13.
Man is now endowed with two traits, so to speak. He through Christ is granted access to the tree of life but the effects of eating from the tree of good and evil are still stuck in his teeth that he cannot get it out, that it is so ingrained in himself that God must transform his vile body to get rid of the sinful nature – Philippians 3:21.
Personal Testimony of Inner Struggle
Coming back to me: As I said in the beginning, ever since I have grown to understand things, I realized that something was off in me; I felt a void in me, and chaos ensued. I didn’t have the slightest idea what it was. I thought it was me. It was miserable and utterly hopeless and chaotic I wanted to end my life somehow.
I would say, I was kind of a masochist. Masochism, or the pursuit of personal anguish or seeking pain for oneself, is another phenomenon that affects not only confused teenagers but adults as well. These customs were also observed by ancient civilizations or groups.
A masochist is a person who derives gratification from their pain or humiliation; a person who enjoys an activity that appears to be painful or soul-destroying. I now realize that both sadism and masochism are fueled by a craving for atonement. It is the effect of the original sin in humans, which the Savior of the world has come and taken away. One must only believe in the shed blood of Jesus Christ to appropriate the merits of the redemptive work on the cross of Calvary.
The Descent into Despair and Discovery of Faith
Because of the lack of Spirit-inspired teaching in the body of Christ, and the lack of the demonstration of the power of the Holy Ghost within the local churches, people are not seeing the life of God percolating in their lives. It took me years of learning, and the grace and mercy of God to realize what was it that I was wrestling with. Though my conversion was a radical one, and I was filled with the Holy Spirit multiple times and have experienced the joy of salvation; as I grew in the spirit, when I began walking on my feet, as a child would grow and walk on his strength—The reality strikes and the comfort of the parents’ nurturing now missing—our face droops to all of life’s struggles. The Holy Spirit of God is the one who was with me nurturing me and giving me all the comforts that I needed—and suddenly, I felt I could no longer enjoy His pampering.
The Dark Night of the Soul
It wasn’t that He left me, the truth was that I had grown and that I must now begin to walk on my own. And the pressures of the world and the lusts of the flesh and the deceitfulness of riches began dragging me again back presumably to a failed life. I started to see my life falling apart and I couldn’t achieve anything. I was a total failure according to the world’s standards. My father said, you are accursed and good for nothing and there was none left in my family that did not reject me and disowned me. Even my friends, whom I thought were friends mocked and left my life. I was left alone starting to experience the old haunting depression and oppression and hopelessness trying to drag me back to my old life.
Renewal through the Word
It wasn’t until the day that I found a Gideon pocket Bible, which I treasured and began to eat from it like a ravenous wolf—I realized how impoverished I was in the spirit, and that was the cause of my voidness. I would sit on a chair and read like I would die if I didn’t. As I read through its pages, I felt a sweetness, which I cannot describe spreading all over my mouth. As the apostle John described in Revelation 10:10; it was in his mouth sweet as honey; it was in mine too. But I wasn’t aware that it had another side. As soon as I had eaten it, my belly was bitter – Revelation 10:10.
The Struggle and Triumph of Faith
When you receive something in the spirit, your flesh will enter into a struggle. After ye were illuminated, ye endured a great fight of afflictions – Hebrews 10:32. Yeah, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution – 2 Timothy 3:12. By activating your spirit man, you are now working against all that the devil has built in you. There will be a battle that one would have to endure. Paul charged Timothy to war a good warfare – 1 Timothy 1:18. Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ – 2 Timothy 2:3. What else would wage war on us? Other than the demonic spirits, the fleshly lusts, war against the soul – 1 Peter 2:11. Though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh, but we use our mighty spiritual weapon to thwart the work of the enemy and subdue the flesh – 2 Corinthians 10:3-6.
The Lifelong Battle with Darkness
The battle did not end there. I had to contend with the devil and flesh for many years. It’s been thirty-two years now having come to the Lord, and I’ve had innumerable heavenly spiritual experiences. I have seen God change people’s lives through my ministry; I have seen lives transformed by the power of the Holy Ghost; I have seen people delivered from the power of the enemy when I would lay hands; I have seen barren wombs blessed when I prayed; I have seen God heal many when I prayed; I have experienced the saving work of angels multiple times; I have experienced the touch of the Master countless times in my life; yet I could not pray in the Holy Ghost, which is praying in tongues. Something deep down prevented me from experiencing it.
Healing through Partnership and Prayer
God started another profound work in me just a few years ago after I met my wife, who is from Kyrgyzstan. I didn’t know that I had deep wounds of rejection and childhood abuse and the spirit of failure had its sway in me, despite my spiritual stance.
Victory and Liberation in Spiritual Warfare
When all hell broke loose in my life and all my family disowned me, I felt the same harrowing hopelessness haunting my life once again. Even after coming to Christ, its hold was deep down in me waiting to pounce when the time comes. This time it emerged and showed a suicidal intent. It wanted to kill me. The Lord placed a burden on my wife’s heart regarding me. She believed that I was her ministry. I recall her attempting to persuade me that I am a king’s child and that she is come to assist me break away from my routine. She would declare, “We will defeat the adversary and reclaim what is rightfully yours—that which the devil has taken.” Was it that simple? I will tell you that my wife had to go through a lot of pain trying to fix my life. The devil was enraged at her, but God’s mercy was with us. I can’t thank God enough for my wife, whom He has blessed me with, who prayed and prayed and fought until I was healed in many areas. I am still a work in progress, and she has borne the brunt of it. “Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren” – 1 John 3:16. How effective it would be if all Christians heeded this amazing idea to act as their brethren’s protectors and defenders in times of need.
The Power of Speaking in Tongues
My spirit, which was throttled, is finally starting to speak in heavenly language after all these years of struggling and warfare; having been cleansed from numerous interior scars and traumas.
Embracing the Gift of Tongues and Divine Rest
I sensed the formlessness or emptiness that was trailing my existence disappearing as soon as the Lord opened my mouth to speak in tongues. It could no longer plague me as I employed the gift of tongues. To keep our spirits steady and avoid getting throttled once more, we must fight this war every day. It takes a constant effort to keep our flesh, through which the evil spirits operate, under check.
A Testimony to the Power of the Spirit
By the spirit, I was speaking to God, mysteries. Every time, I would feel emptiness come, the spirit would begin to speak, which my mind could not understand. But the word of God says, for he that speaks in an unknown tongue speaks not unto men, but unto God: for no man understands him; howbeit in the spirit he speaks mysteries – 1 Corinthians 14:2. He that speaks in an unknown tongue edifies himself – 1 Corinthians 14:4. I wonder how “the Cessationists” edifies themselves, and what they would counsel those who are oppressed by the devils due to deep traumas. While the presbytery’s laying on of hands is important, it is not sufficient in and of itself to finish a person’s healing process. Certain healings can be received from God’s prepared ministers, but others can be achieved only via the use of our spirit man. Because our flesh works in opposition, we cannot win the struggle unless we employ our spirit. That is why the word of God enjoins us: As new-born babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby – 1 Peter 2:2; let us go on unto perfection – Hebrews 6:1. That is why spiritual development is so important. Every time I would experience heaviness, my spirit would spring into action speaking mysteries and I would see darkness dissipating when I prayed in tongues.
Not only do I see and experience darkness fleeing, but I have also felt refreshed and light on the inside and light/life permeating through me. This is what prophet Isaiah was saying: with stammering lips and another tongue will he speak. This is the rest wherewith ye may cause the weary to rest; and this is the refreshing – Isaiah 28:11,12. Let us labour therefore to enter that rest – Hebrews 4:11. There remains therefore a rest to the people of God. For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his works, as God did from his – Hebrews 4:9,10. Let us, therefore, fear, lest a promise being left us of entering his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it – Hebrews 4:1. This is the promised rest that Jesus was telling about; he said, Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest – Matthew 11:28. It is Jesus Christ that will baptize you with the Holy Ghost – Luke 3:16. And one must come to him, the source of all life to obtain that rest. Not only should one come to him, but they must also speak forth what the Spirit prompts them to say for life to flow from inside. They must approach him in a childlike manner and accept without question what he has to offer them. There’s a good chance that one would be sceptical since what Jesus would offer would not make sense to a rational mind. A person who harbours subtle pride may find it difficult to receive anything from the Lord. Preachers who fail to explain to believers the importance of this rest that comes from speaking the heavenly language are preventing them from fulfilling God’s greatest promises.
This is the rest multitudes including “the Cessationists” have come short of and are guilty of. The gift of speaking in tongues may not have seemed all that important in the Western world, where the spiritual atmosphere is not as tainted as it is in Asian countries with their abundance of temples and idol worship; however, a Christian would realize that he or she is helpless without the gift of tongues if they wanted to survive in any of those nations where voodooism, occultism, sacrilege, and similar practices are common. One might just be able to survive but at what cost? People have survived without exercising this gift, but they have also been plundered by the devil in many areas. Given that the Bible itself says that we are ignorant of what to pray for, how are you going to pray? Likewise, the Spirit also helps our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought – Romans 8:26. If not for this gift, how do we even follow the command “Pray without ceasing” – 1 Thessalonians 5:17?
The Unseen Battle: A Testimony of Spiritual Warfare and Victory An Encounter with Earthly Challenge
I would like to end this discussion by telling you another incident. When my wife and I tried to rent a house, the owner told us that we could avoid paying rent each month if we gave him a certain amount right away since he required a big sum of money. We felt it was fantastic as it would benefit us as well. He agreed to return the money at the conclusion of the contract when it was signed. When the time came, he was reluctant to give us any money and instead tried to evict us from the residence. Numerous horrors befell us, and we were at a loss for what to do. We were powerless and could only talk to God about this and that, but our prayers were ineffective. It was a meaningless exchange of sentimental words.
The Breakthrough of Spiritual Tongues
Thank God for this trauma; it was during this period that I began speaking in tongues and received my victory. A barrage of stupid phrases came shooting out of my throat, and I had no choice but to spit them out. My natural thought claimed that it was dumb since it was so illogical. I started to clear it out, though, because what is there for me to lose? I’ve chosen specific terms on purpose to convey what I went through. I had no idea at the time that it was the start of a stream that came from deep within.
Embracing Childlike Faith
I now know what 1 Thessalonians 5:19—”Quench not the Spirit”—means. Oh, how many people stifle His presence by refusing to accept His gifts? With our conceited and arrogant attitude, how often do we grieve the Holy Spirit of God – Ephesians 4:30? Didn’t Jesus say, Verily I say unto you, whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein – Luke 18:17.
The Power of Spiritual Language
Like a child, I began to speak all of the inexplicable words aloud, and that’s when I started singing in tongues. Mysteries and songs that I had never heard before began to emerge from me. When I talked in tongues, I felt a surge of energy that I had never experienced before. I understood that my spirit was binding and destroying the enemy’s works. In short, everything transpired so quickly that the entire amount of money was transferred to our bank account within a few days. I can promise that we would have lost everything if God hadn’t given us the ability to speak or pray in unfamiliar tongues.
Conclusion: The Victory of Faith
In the vast landscape of life’s trials, this story stands as a powerful testament to the triumph of faith over adversity. Our challenges and moments of despair served as a crucible, revealing the might of God’s power in our lives. Through the unexpected gift of speaking in tongues, we tapped into a divine strength that propelled us beyond our limited understanding and into a realm of spiritual breakthrough.
Our experience underscores the enduring truth that our struggles are not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces that aim to weaken our faith and determination. It is in our weakest moments that God’s strength shines brightest, manifesting in mysterious and profound ways, such as the language of the Spirit.
Now, as we reflect on our victory, our hearts overflow with gratitude, and our spirits resonate with the deeper cadences of God’s grace. We are reminded that our spiritual weapons are mighty through God for the demolition of strongholds – 2 Corinthians 10:4. The once seemingly foolish words and melodies were, in reality, expressions of liberation, a sacred vocabulary of the Spirit that transcended human languages and situations.
Our journey from despair to deliverance is not just our own, but an invitation to all who walk the path of faith. It urges us to seek God with a childlike heart, to embrace the spiritual gifts He provides, and to stand firm in the knowledge that our spiritual language is key to unlocking the chains of our trials.
May this testimony inspire bravery in the face of life’s storms, encouraging believers to cling to their faith, to trust in God’s invisible hand, and to declare, with unwavering conviction, the dominance of His power in every facet of life. For in Him, we are more than victors, and through Him, we can bring light to the dark corners of our journey, filling them with the unquenchable light of His everlasting love.