Before I expound on this subject, as a frame of reference, I must serve the Scriptural texts that the Lord has put in my heart. Please read through.
Suggested reading https://bvthomas.com/adam-where-art-thou-addition/
To simply put it, the fall of man paved the way for all degeneracy.
Hear instruction, and be wise, and refuse it not (Proverbs 8:33)
No where does the Scripture say that a Christian holds immunity from trials and tribulations? On the contrary! The Bible says that the flood-tide (an allegory) will arise, the stream would beat vehemently upon the house (as a tempest or flood — beat vehemently against)(Luke 6:48) – he that dug deep and laid the foundation on a rock* (For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ – 1 Cor 3:11 – that Rock is Christ – 1 Cor 10:4), *and built his house, remained (Luke 6:48) – but they that erect without a foundation will not endure the storms of life and it shall fall; and the ruin of that house will be great (Luke 6:49).
Though this parable is about them that hath refused to concede Christ as the head – Acts 6:11,13,14/13:46/Luke 19:14 – or that would refute the headship of Christ – Col 1:18/2:19/ Eph 4:15/5:23 – and yet represent themselves as the house of God, or God’s people – 1Pet 2:5/4:17/Heb 3:6/8:10/10:21 – I believe this parable also correlates with the building up of a family union.
- Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall (Proverbs 16:18)
- When pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly is wisdom (Proverbs 11:2)
- Only by pride cometh contention (Proverbs 13:10)
Evidently, such disintegration is the aftermath of yielding to one’s base nature or walking after the flesh. Scripture warns, if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die (in this context ruination, dissolution of all good things): but if ye through the Spirit do mortify (subdue, discipline, get under control) the deeds of the body, ye shall live (Rom 8:13) – In the way of righteousness is life; and in the pathway thereof there is no death (Proverbs 12:28).
Ye shall walk in all the ways which the Lord your God hath commanded you, that ye may live, and that it may be well with you (Deuteronomy 5:33)
It is clear that when we wander out of the prescribed way ends in the termination of all life. If the foundations are destroyed (pull-down, disrupted, damaged, wrecked, overthrown, demolished), what can the righteous do? (Psalm 11:3). He too will peter out!
When the righteous turneth away from his righteousness (disregards the word of God, not a doer of the word), and committeth iniquity, and doeth according to all the abominations that the wicked man doeth, shall he live? (Ezekiel 18:24)
For whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption (Galatians 6:7,8)
Ponder the path of thy feet (examine yourselves/ prove your own selves – 2Cor 13:5), and let all thy ways be established (ordered, perfected, set aright, be stable). Turn not to the right hand nor to the left (from the word of God, be a doer the word and not a hearer only deceiving yourself – James 1:22): remove thy foot* (apply correction, be free from error, set right, calibrate) *from evil (Proverbs 4:26,27). There is a way which seemeth right unto a man (the ways of man, carnally/fleshly emanated, course of this world, leaning to one’s own understanding – Proverbs 3:5), but the end thereof are the ways of death (Proverbs 14:12)
Instead of delving deeper into the Holy Scripture to trace the root cause of the problem and a solution to it, we tend to look for seers for an easy remedy when things begin to fall apart. Sadly most of them aren’t rooted and grounded in the word of God. We must continue therein (the way the word of God directs/instructs us), being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed (James 1:25)
Search the scriptures; for in them ye have life (John 5:39)
Scripture continues: Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof (Proverbs 18:21). Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death or of obedience (to God) unto righteousness? (Romans 6:16).
When we yield to the law of sin and death, which is in our members – Rom 7:23 – or when we yield our members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin (Romans 6:13) – ‘(Sin’ is to break/transgress the law of God, fall from grace, go astray – be mislaid, put in the wrong place, lose track of, stray from the prescribed path, etc…) or if we let sin reign in our mortal body, that we should obey it (Romans 6:12) – it would result in death – in this context you may consider ‘death’ as termination/dissolution of family union, peace, tranquility, harmony, rest, order. Death is the opposite of life; means carnally minded – Rom 8:6, chaos, disorder, darkness, discord, disharmony, agitation, etc…
- But unto them that are contentious (the proud – Pro 13:10/James 4:6), and do not obey the truth (disregard, not a doer of the word – James 1:22,23), but obey unrighteousness* (them which stumble at the word, being disobedient –1 Peter 2:8 – them that lean unto their own understanding or heed to the commandments of men – yield to the works of the flesh – Gal 5:19-21/Rom 6:16, being drawn away of his own lusts – James 1:14), *indignation and wrath,
- Tribulation and anguish, upon every soul of man that doeth evil, of the Jew first, and also of the Gentile;
- But GLORY, HONOUR, AND PEACE (Shalom), to every man that worketh good, to the Jew first, and also to the Gentile: Romans 2:8-10 – Shalom = Destroyed the authority that established chaos/ Jesus Christ destroyed the one that created all chaos – Heb 2:14/Col 2:15/John 16:11/1John 3:8/5:19/2Cor 4:4/ which didst weaken the nations – Isaiah 14:12/Ezek 28: 13-Gan 1:2-Isaiah 14:12.
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Be careful about nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God (Philippians 4:6) – its effect: And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus (Phil 4:7). The opposite of spiritually mindedness (having the mindset on spiritual things – setting our affection on things above, not on things on the earth – Col 3:2) – is carnally minded – 1Cor 3:1-3 – who is unskilful in the word of righteousness – Heb 5:13 – which results in death (degeneracy). For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace (Rom 8:6) – Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God (not a doer of the word – James 1:22,23 – which stumble at the word, being disobedient – 1Pet 2:8), neither indeed can be – Rom 8:7 – if so, how such could expect any tranquility in life? Chaos shall be the price one must pay for ignoring the Scripture.
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Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord (2 Peter 1:2)
For there is no respect of persons with God (Romans 2:11)
In Adam, man had lost his spiritual stance; sold under sin to be precise – Rom 7:14. Transgression had cut him off from his lifeline, which is the WORD – John 1:4/1John 5:11,12.
Why this depravity is in effect even after a person comes to Christ, one might ask?
Even though SIN has lost its grip/power (for sin shall not have dominion over you – Rom 6:14) on them that are in Christ, that walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus – Rom 8, we must not forget the fact that the body that we live in is vile – Phil 3:21 – the law of sin and death is still present in its members – Rom 7 – consequently evil is present with us – Rom 7:21. When you come to Christ, it is the imputed sin that gets revoked – Rom 5 – not the inherent/indwelling sinful nature that we all carry within, which we need to contend on a daily basis.
If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us (1 John 1:8)
Though marriage is honorable in all – Heb 13:4, the Apostle Paul was aware of this blight – he said, Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh (1 Cor 7:28). Despite the conflicts that one would encounter in a marriage, one could overcome the issues through the strength and wisdom of the Lord. The truth is that marriage is demanding and it will test the strength of one’s character that enters into it. This should not deter anyone from entering into this blessed union of man and woman. Leading a neutral life is not much of a challenge, especially at this age. The reason why things often seem so thorny within wedlock is that our hearts have been systematically molded/conditioned by the world system to a self-loving state, which the Bible foretold in 2Timothy 3. We are in that period of time where iniquity has reached its pinnacle because of the inception of the spirit of the lawless one, which is already at work – 2Thess 2:7/1John 4:3.
Jesus said, And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold (Matthew 24:12)! Have you examined lately the state of your heart? I do often; because I trust what the word of God says about me, and not what I perceive of myself. How could we expect good when the heart and conscience of man have become morbid; not to mention, the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked? (Jeremiah 17:9/Mark 7:20-23)
By nature, we have a propensity to deceive ourselves – James 1:22 – hence, a change of heart is inevitable; that is to firstly put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt – Eph 4:22 – put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth – Col 3:8 – and put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness (Eph 4:24/Col 3:10); also means, that we partake of His holiness and yield the peaceable fruit of righteousness – Heb 12:10,11; it means to bear fruit unto holiness – Rom 6:22; it means, to allow/permit the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus to supplant/oust the law of sin and death, which is constantly trying to take us captive – Rom 8:2/Rom 7:23
For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would (Galatians 5:17)
Because the law tolerated divorce doesn’t mean that God approved it; even though God had put away Israel – Isaiah 50/Jeremiah 3:8 – He hates divorce – Malachi 2:16. Even though we have privileges in Christ, the human mind and conscience are yet in a defiled state, so to speak. Otherwise, Where do wars and fighting among us come from? (James 4:1) Jesus said, because of the hardness of your heart – Matt 19:8 – The heart is deceitful above all things, and it is exceedingly corrupt: who can know it? (Jeremiah 17:9) – if this isn’t a faithful saying, then why would the Lord command us to put off our corrupt nature? Col 3:8/Eph 4:22/Rom 13:12 etc…
Divorce happens, it is inevitable to some; it is better for some to divorce than be devoured. Deliver thyself as a roe from the hand of the hunter, and as a bird from the hand of the fowler – Pro 6:5. Cast out the scorner, and contention shall go out; yea, strife and reproach shall cease – Pro 22:10.
For what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? (2 Cor 6:14) But most of the family disputes can be straightened out IF at least one person is willing to reject pride and apply the instructions of the word of God. In that way, the unbelieving husband would be sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife would be sanctified by the husband (1 Cor 7:14). But without letting “agape” the love of God reign in our hearts we would not be able to thwart the work of the enemy – 1Cor 13:13 – for Agape (the fruit of the Spirit – Gal 5:22-24) alone enables us to suffer long and to be kind, and do not behave itself unseemly and to bear all things and to not get provoked easily (1 Cor 13:4-7).
The problem lies in each one of us, period. To whom we yield ourselves, servants, to obey determines the outcome (Rom 6:16). Only when we choose to submit to God through His word would we be able to make the evil spirits, which are behind these atrocities to flee. The devils are closely united with our fallen nature. In fact, the fallen nature/self is of the fallen ones. And who are the fallen ones? Lucifer and his legions, right! Adam through transgression had coalesced to the fallen entity and thus inherited from him this reprehensible nature. For every tree is known by his own fruit (Luke 6:43-45). When a soul by the power of the Holy Spirit works out daily to be detached from the carnal appetite and chose to abide in the good vine – John 15:4 – such shall bring forth good fruit. Being then made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life (Rom 6:22)
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places (Ephesians 6:12)
Why do we yet wrestle against our own clan when the root of the cause lies somewhere else? Jesus said a house divided against itself shall not stand (Matthew 12:25).
Therefore, submit to God (first step) AND Resist the devil, and he will flee from you (James 4:7). For the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God (Romans 8:7). How do we gauge that? Bible says, to be spiritually minded is life and peace (Rom 8:6). Where do you stand? Judge in yourselves – 1Cor 11:31 – Examine yourselves; prove your own selves (2 Cor 13:5).
But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ (put on the new man – Col 3:10), and make not provision for the flesh (Rom 13:14) – and be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind (Rom 12:2). Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand (Eph 6:13-18).
Application of the word is crucial to keep us on an even keel. Remember also that the devil’s only access to our lives is through our own flesh. That is why it is vital to walk and live in the Spirit – Gal 5:16,25.
Know that family life requires much work to keep it unspoiled. Refusing to live after the flesh – Rom 6:12/8:13, but to put on the Lord Jesus Christ and to make no provision for the flesh – Rom 13:14 – and refuse to yield our members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin – Rom 6:13 – From whence come wars and fightings – James 4:1 – is to abide in Christ.
If Christ is made the center of one’s life and would heed to His word and thus allow him to live in and through us – Col 1:27/Gal 2:20/4:19 – I can guarantee that any volatile situation can be dampened down.
I have seen many Christian couples who live in one house and yet are separated in their hearts, but wouldn’t want to legally separate because they deem it sinful (but they don’t see that possessing a carnal mind is much worse); not to mention, the dreadful societal stigma and ostracizing that comes with it in some culture; the children’s welfare and so on; some people would bear everything for the sake of Christ, etc… I see that in many family unions as well. Because of the inception of sin into the world – Rom 5:12, a man and a woman can never achieve a perfect union – they have lost that soundness in Adam and therefore they don’t have the means to achieve such harmony in this world. Even Paul the Apostle cautioned about this: he said, such shall have trouble in the flesh –1Cor 7:28. Mostly the union survives because of selfish intentions of the heart, that they need each other for their survival – but some would bear all things for righteousness’s sake. Survival of both depends upon their forbearance; and who would want to go through the societal stigma, the humiliation, the financial loss, being ostracized and the suffering of children, etc? The reason why the new Testament stipulates submission on both sides – Eph 5:21 – is because God knows that’s the only way one could pull through.
And if the righteous* (them that are washed with the word and whose hearts are sprinkled from an evil conscience, to walk in newness of life – Hebrews 10:22/Rom 6:4 – whose conscience get purged from dead works by the blood of Christ to serve the living God – Heb 9:14) *scarcely (with much labor in the spirit and with difficulty) *be saved (from the inherent sinful nature and the fallen world), where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear? (1 Peter 4:18). If the righteous man is finding it hard to deal with the issues of this life, one could imagine how a worldly person or a carnal Christian (babes in Christ – 1Cor 3:1-3/Heb 5:13) would be able to handle things that are honorable and virtuous!
Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands (Proverbs 14:1)
The reason why the word of God gives distinction to pious women who are wise is that it is something that is worthy of attention and admirable which has the watermark of God all over. A wise woman builds her house! The foolish one plucks it down! Let God be true and every man a liar – Rom 3:4. A man could erect a shelter but it takes a wise woman to make it a home.
Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies (Proverbs 31:10). The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her so that he shall have no need of spoil (this is what is missing nowadays). She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Pro 31:11
It also indicates the rarity of this kind of women clan, which adorn themselves with the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4). In quietness and in confidence (bitchah – trust) shall be your strength (Isaiah 30:15). And the work of righteousness (within the heart) shall be peace (let us examine what kind of work is going on within us: is it the work of righteousness or the works of the flesh, which brings forth fruit unto death? – Rom 7:5 – Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings – Gal 5:19-21); and the effect of righteousness (within the heart) quietness and assurance forever (Isaiah 32:17) In most of the hearts it is warfare, which is contrary to the work of righteousness. This is the prevailing situation of the heart of a professing Christian.
A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman (quarrelsome, irritable, fighting, defiant, combative, insubordinate, argumentative, rebellious) are alike (Proverbs 27:15)
But strength and honour are a virtuous woman’s clothing (Proverbs 31:25) – Unlike today’s womenkind (at large), which are brazen, the woman God loves has character; for she opens her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness (Proverbs 31:26). She looketh well to the ways of her household (Proverbs 31:27). Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her (Proverbs 31:28). Her secret is that: she is a woman that feareth the Lord, and she shall be praised (Proverbs 31:30) – And the fear of the Lord is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, which the Lord hate. The fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom (they that refuseth instruction despiseth their own soul: but they that heareth reproof getteth understanding – Proverbs 15:32); and before honour is humility (Proverbs 15:33) – honor is the outcome of being humble.
A prudent wife is from the Lord (Proverbs 19:14)
She possesses a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price (1 Peter 3:4) – the trait of the holy women who trusted in God, adorned themselves with (1 Peter 3:5); mind you, do not mistake meekness and quietness for weakness – Bible says, that is her strength. These women were not that ‘door-mat kind’ acclimatized to fear, but whom men and children alike would praise and honor.
Jesus said, Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls (Matthew 11:29) – Jesus Christ is the one whom these women love and they reflect his nature, which is in the sight of God of great price (1 Peter 3:4). For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands (1 Peter 3:5).
Possessing or yielding the fruit (singular) of the Spirit – Gal 5:22,23 – is then requisite to be submissive. Jesus was meek (gentle, quiet, lamblike, submissive, long-suffering), wasn’t he? Matt 11:29 Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience (Hebrews 5:8) – Who being the brightness of his glory, and the express image of his person, and upholding all things by the word of his power (Hebrews 1:3) – Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation (Philippians 2:6,7) – The Spirit says, let this mind be in us too – Philippians 2:5. He humbled himself (a personal choice), and became obedient (Philippians 2:5-9). And the holy women who trusted in God adorned themselves with this mindset, which was also in Christ Jesus – Philippians 2;5.
As children of God, we all (regardless of gender) should have this mind, which was in Christ Jesus. We have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16).
A woman shall encompass a man – Jeremiah 31:22 – how does she get to do that? Because she fears and trusts the Lord – Proverbs 8:13/31:30/1Pet 3:5 – heartily as to the Lord – Col 3:23/ Eph 5:22 – she submits to her husband – Col 3:18/Eph 5:22,24/1Pet 3:1-6 – thus have power on her head – 1Cor 11:10.
Apostle Paul had made it clear that if any man think himself to be a prophet, or spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things that I write unto you are the commandments of the Lord – 1Cor 14:37 – and if any would not obey – they do not love the Lord – John 14:21/ 1John 2:4,5/3:24
As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them (Isaiah 3:12)
Manipulation, Domination, Intimidation = Control = Witchcraft – works of the flesh – Gal 5:19-21. A brutish man too uses his temper to intimidate in order to get his way. These are nothing but trying to set aside the God-ordained divine order.
Women hath succumbed to the lawless nature as did men – Rom 1:26,27. Both have come short of the glory of God, but when it comes to guarding one’s family the spiritual burden must ensue in men, as he is the head of a woman – 1Cor 11:3. Therefore, he is not only that God ordained barrier who could prevent infiltration/intrusion of evil in his family but also the link between Christ and his family for the life to percolate through. This is where men falter and fail to hold his God-ordained position thus giving the devil and his minion’s free rein.
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God (1 Corinthians 11:3).
The husbands are being told to dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife* (honoring is loving her despite the shortcomings, it is to be devoted to her in the heart even in the face of heated contention – let the fruit ‘faithfulness’ be that anchor that will keep you on an even keel when the storms of life beats the house – when you desire another woman or lust after another one or commits adultery it is dishonoring her – you dishonor her when you make fun and humiliate her before others and children – when you abuse/ assault her you hate yourselves – Eph 5:28 – and it is not pleasing to God at all), *as unto the weaker vessel (1 Peter 3:7) – for she could be easily influenced – 1Tim 2:14 – by the demonic realm – to be used against you, in order to enrage, to send you into a rage, to irritate, to infuriate, that would ruffle your feathers, to make your blood boil, to provoke you, to hurt your man-pride, to torment, by disrespecting you, even withholding emotional, physical intimacy as well – the devil’s strategem is to destroy her and rip her off from your life. Man must know that his wife is his treasure in this life – For whoso findeth, a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour of the Lord (Proverbs 18:22). God wouldn’t have said so if it wasn’t a faithful saying, would He? It is not good that the man should be alone, period! Gen 2:18
The devil will try to harry you (through your loved one’s) to the extent where you would want to give up on life and all responsibilities. When God said, it is not good that the man should be alone – Genesis 2:18 – it should mean something right! The devil wants to dismantle what God hath joined together – Matthew 19:5,6. Since the fall of Lucifer, which is Satan, his fight is not with humans but with God Himself. He fights God by creating chaos, disorder, lawlessness, making the world a wilderness, and destroying the cities thereof (Isaiah 14:17). He is a murderer from the beginning – John 8:44 – working in the hearts of men to commit such crimes and wickedness. Initially he may try to pester you by various means with the thought that you would giving up; when that fails, he will resort to using external means that would tantalize you to the extent that you would be drawn away by your own lusts and be enticed, thus commit sin that would ensure your fall.
When God established the first couple in the garden of God, we all know how the adversary immediately came and spoiled the sanctity of it. Thus God’s judgment had put enmity between Satan and the woman”, and between his seed and her seed (Genesis 3:15). The devil could not bear this–that he went on a rampage and begin to destroy everything that God hath hallowed. Not only did the first Adam failed to guard his territory by transgression – or sold his birthright as Esau did for a morsel of meat – Heb 12:16 – but also handed over to the wicked one his right to rule and rein in life. Wherefore, Satan not only gained power over the kingdoms of man but also power over women. The rebellious nature of women is evidence of it. Who is the father of rebellion and who made Israel rebel? Satan, the prince of this world whose children they are, which rebel – Matthew 13:38/1John 3:10/John 8:44. Otherwise, why would Jesus address Satan as the prince of this world? John 12:31/14:30/16:11/Eph 2:2.
The Bible is clear that a Christian is constantly on a warfront – 2Cor 10:4/Eph 6:12/1Tim 1:18/2Tim 2:3,4.
On the other hand, the assault on women is a clear indication that the demonic realm is very active – James 3:14-16 – “male chauvinism” is nothing but a carnal mindset (that is enmity against God – Rom 8:6,7); such pride is extremely damaging. Such traits would not only destabilize a family but eventually disintegrates it.
His/her childhood upbringing directly affects family life as well. Rejections, unhealthy soul ties, abuses, emotional scars, etc…will have unfavorable effects throughout one’s life. It is then imperative to understand what each other’s frame of mind and intentions are before making all the vows before God and men. Seeking spiritual inspection before marriage would be an advantage and a preventive measure, lest any family curses, spiritual bondage, fractured personality and any evil entity that are hidden would wreck the union.
Before taking a plunge into wedlock, make sure that you are marrying a person whom you have investigated well and that you are not marrying for position, status, money, to immigrate or such but for the glory of God. The proposed one’s should assure themselves–that this is the man to whom I want to submit to – this is the woman I want to love and cherish–this is the person in whom my soul delight. If for any other reasons, I would suggest one should not enter into marital life.
Also be an open book. Be honest with yourselves and the would be. Defraud ye not one the other. Don’t deceive the other person into thinking that you are someone whom you are not. Take time–lay your life open (with all your insecurities, defeats, shortcomings, behavior pattern, family background)–give space and time for the one whom you wish to marry to get to know you well and conversely.
Can two walk together, except they be agreed? (Amos 3:3)
The majority of men in order to retain their prejudice they IMPOSE the rule of “subjection” over woman, which is exactly the opposite of what Jesus Christ meant. It is sad that Christians often forget the fact that Christ hath liberated the womenkind from their oppressive, second class, slavery stance. This is how He has commanded all husbands to conduct oneself, “love your wives (giving honour unto the wife –1 Peter 3:7), even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25). Christ first gave himself for the church and because of that the church loves him and is devoted and is in subjection to him; not the other way round. Husbands earn your rights! While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us – Rom 5:8. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church (Ephesians 5:28,29). Having said that, the Bible doesn’t vouch on saving your spouse.
And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him/her depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? 1Cor 7:10-16
- Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
- Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man has a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
- And above all these things put on charity (Agape), which is the bond of perfectness.
- And let (permit, allow) the peace of God rule in your hearts – Colossians 3:12-15 – therefore, it is vital that one be spiritually minded to attain such peace.
And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity – 2 Peter 1:5-7
For if ye do these things, ye shall never fall (2 Peter 1:10)
Both man and woman must build their character according to the Scriptures to avert such adverse situation to materialize; in other words, they must put off their corrupt self and put on (activate) the new nature, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness; be not conformed to this world but be transformed (metamorphose) by the renewing of the mind (labor in the word and allow the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus to supplant the law of sin and death, which is in our members – Rom 8:2/7:5,21,23/ Col 3:8/Eph 4:22 – a doer of the word – James 1:22), that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God (Romans 12:2). That is how we work out our salvation (from depravity) – Phil 2:12.
Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding (Proverbs 4:7) –
Forsake her not, and she shall preserve thee: love her, and she shall keep thee (Proverbs 4:6)
If you embrace wisdom (which is from above – James 3:17) and understanding she shall preserve thee, when times are rough.
- A man of understanding hath wisdom (Proverbs 10:23)
- A man of understanding holdeth his peace (Proverbs 11:12)
- A man of understanding walketh uprightly (Proverbs 15:21)
- A man of understanding is of an excellent spirit (Proverbs 17:27)
- Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding (Proverbs 17:28)
- Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out (Proverbs 20:5)
- The man that wandereth out of the way of understanding shall remain in the congregation of the dead (Proverbs 21:16)
- I went by the field of the slothful, and by the vineyard of the man void of understanding; And, lo, it was all grown over with thorns, and nettles had covered the face thereof (Mark 4:18,19/Luke 8:14), and the stone wall thereof was broken down (Proverbs 24:31)
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He is in the way of life that keepeth instruction: but he that refuseth reproof erreth (Proverbs 10:17)
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Understanding is a wellspring of life unto him that hath it (Proverbs 16:22)
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He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding (Proverbs 15:32)
Though our labor is vital in building up a godly union, the Lord must also do his part/ set the seal on to carry it through. For we are laborers together with God and we are his husbandry – 1Cor 3:9. He doesn’t expect us to attain things on our own; for He has given us of His Spirit to fulfill His plans; not to mention, it is God which works in us both to will and to do of his good pleasure (Philippians 2:13). Abide in Christ is to abide in His word, to walk and live in the Spirit – Gal 5:25/John 15:5-7,10 – Jesus said, Abide in me and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. And unless we metamorphose to that state, how could we expect to receive anything from the Lord? When we abide therein, we become an effectually working part as well (Ephesians 4:16) – It is then crucial that one must look into the perfect law of liberty, and continue therein, being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work (James 1:25).
Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it (Psalm 127:1)
The Lord can only build if we are willing, obedient, and are subject unto him. You cannot have the world and the Lord at the same time. If you love the world and strive to gain a life in this world (which is according to the prince of the power of the air – Eph 2:2), you are not worthy of him – Matthew 10:37-39/John 12:25/1John 2:15,16/James 4:4. How can a person go on to love his life who is already dead and his life is hid with Christ in God? Col 3:3. It is impossible to continue abiding in Christ as long as the world, innate sin, and self are given preeminence. And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts (Galatians 5:24).
A man is the ruler of his own house (1 Timothy 3:4,5)
RULE = proistemi
- to set or place before
- to set over
- to be over, to superintend, preside over – 1Tim 5:17/3:4,12/1Thess 5:12
- to be a protector or guardian – Rom 12:8
- to give aid
- to care for, give attention to – Titus 3:8,14
- profess honest occupations
A woman is the guide of the house (1 Timothy 5:14)
GUIDE = oikodespoteo
- to be master (or head) of a house
- to rule a household, manage family affairs
The Lord gave me an insight into why the devil uses women to pluck the family down – Pro 14:1 – First off, it is not her fault alone – the devil’s entry point to her is her head, the husband. If the spiritual state of the husband is not up to the mark (if his head is not Christ and bears not his nature, which is the result of not abiding in Christ) or if he has some spiritual issues, spiritual soul ties inherited from unholy relationships and fornications, that would give the right of entry for the evil to inflict calamitous consequences upon his wife and children. The devil will try to forge an environment that would incite you to respond in the flesh so that you would abuse, assault, damage her by which the enemy could get rid of the helpmeet of man. Man must know that the woman is not his enemy and the woman must know that her man is not her enemy – there is only one enemy out there trying to destroy that which the Lord God hath hallowed, and he is called Satan, who alone is our adversary.
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places (Ephesians 6:12)
For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (2 Corinthians 10:3) – sadly the majority of Christians do war after the flesh and are destroyed.
This evil entity is the one that causes all these atrocities. Nonetheless, he could only influence those that are spiritually immature, the ignorant, the disobedient, them that walk after the flesh.
We know that whosoever is born of God sinneth/transgresseth not; but he that is begotten of God keepeth himself, and that wicked one toucheth him not (1 John 5:18)
See how crucial it is to not only be equally yoked – 2Cor 6:14 – but that both partners exercise the love of God as portrayed in 1 Cor 13:4-7. It is an absurdity that one would harness dissimilar animals for plowing or treading as it is ineffective in every way. Who would in their right mind yoke an ass and a stallion?
- Charity (Agape) suffereth long,
- is kind
- it envieth not
- it vaunteth not itself
- is not puffed up
- Doth not behave itself unseemly
- seeketh not her own
- is not easily provoked
- thinketh no evil
- Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth
- Beareth all things
- believeth all things
- hopeth all things
- endureth all things
Equally yoked doesn’t mean one could just pick any Christian and everything else will fall into place. I will give you a verse, the rest you analyze!
Can two walk together, except they be agreed? (Amos 3:3)
I don’t know whether I should utter this: but I must – Man must know that she is opposite to almost everything that he is. Man must have such knowledge of the woman (a discerning and very understanding mind) to dwell with her on a daily basis. And nothing less than the humility of Christ could tackle things in life.
Let us have one mind, have compassion one of another, love as brethren (as being heirs together of the grace of life – 1 Peter 3:7), be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. 1Pet 3:8,9
But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom that you yield to descends not from above (not from God), but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work – James 3:14-16
Only by pride cometh contention (Proverbs 13:10)
Now we know where the fights erupt from! For there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men? (1 Cor 3:3) – From whence come wars and fightings among you? Come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? (James 4:1)
But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof (Romans 13:14) – Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Phil 2:5,8.
Before Christ Jesus gave commands for the church to be subject to him, didn’t he humble himself and gave himself first–leaving us an example, that we should follow his steps? – Gal 1:4/Eph 5:25/1Pet 2:21
But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace – James 3:17-18. Now you see where the trouble lies!
But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh (do not counter in the flesh), to fulfill the lusts thereof (Romans 13:14) – The devil will scheme things in a way that would make you irate and that you would go berserk and be furious, shout, scream, destroy and assault.
This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh (Galatians 5:16)
And you that will love life, and would want to see good days, refrain your tongue from evil, and may your lips speak no guile – 1Pet 3 – Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin – Ecclesiastes 5:6: For the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell (James 3:6) – it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison (James 3:8). And if any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain (James 1:26).
- The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water: therefore leave off contention, before it be meddled with – Proverbs 17:14
- A fool’s lips enter into contention, and his mouth calleth for strokes. A fool’s mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul – Proverbs 18:6-7
The tongue is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison (James 3:8)
The tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell (James 3:6)
For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work (James 3:16)
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh (Luke 6:45)
For a good tree bringeth not forth corrupt fruit; neither doth a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit (Luke 6:43)
For every tree is known by his own fruit (Luke 6:44)
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Put away from thee a froward mouth (difficult to deal with, perverse, opposing, clashing, stubborn, defiant, rebellious, utter offensive words in anger or annoyance), and perverse lips put far from thee (Proverbs 4:23,24)
Eschew evil, and do good; seek peace, and ensue it (develop or produce it, let it emanate). For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous (the doer of the word), and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil (that walk contrary to these stipulated paths) – 1 Peter 3:10-12.
God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble (James 4:6). Oh, how much we should appreciate the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ! It is a good thing that our hearts be established with grace – Heb 13:9/ Philemon 1:25.
Therefore, husbands dwell with your woman with such knowledge about her that your prayers be not hindered (1 Peter 3:7)
It ain’t gonna be easy but that’s the price you have to pay to enjoy this union; ergo, strive and be the man and show your mettle that the devils will have no chance over your family. Unless one yields the fruit of the Spirit, which are love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, and temperance – Galatians 5:22-23 – he/she would find it impossible to lead a sound family life. Both the man and the woman should exercise these traits, otherwise, it would become an emotional seesaw to that person who alone chooses to operate in the Spirit.
The Spirit also instructs: If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another – Galatians 5:25-26 – For they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts (Galatians 5:24).
It isn’t easy for women as well to submit to their own husbands? But that’s the only course God hath paved for you to tread, and those that love God and are His would deter pride and would walk in those steps. For his yoke is easy, and his burden is light (Matthew 11:30) – submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord – Eph 5:22.
Would you prefer to be in that fold of such virtuous pedigree of women or would you prefer to stoop so low to be conformed to that Hollywood, Barbie doll status?
The Bible says, the rebellious nature of the queen Vashti when it would come abroad unto all women, they shall despise their husbands in their eyes (Esther 1:17) – this was a demonically orchestrated event that would take over families like a pestilence.
The contentions of a wife are a continual dropping (Proverbs 19:13) –
House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the Lord (Proverbs 19:14)
May we be diligent and be found of him in peace, without spot, and blameless (2 Peter 3:14)
Finally, my brethren, let us do all things without murmurings and disputings. That we may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom we shine as lights in the world; Holding forth the word of life – Philippians 2:14-16
And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say? (Luke 6:46)